The Five Love Languages

We all long to be loved, we all want the love that lasts forever, and to be deeply loved by someone. Every important relationship in your life requires attention on order for it to grow. You feel most loved when people use you love language to express their love to you. What is your love language?

Knowing each others love languages and acting upon them will only make your relationship better! Your love tank will feel full! All your wants and needs will be met, and that leads to happy and healthy relationships. Speaking both yours and your partners love language will make you feel more loved... After many years being in a relationship you might find yourself not fully understanding and communicating well with your partner. Figuring out their love language will fix that.

According to Dr. Gary Chapman author of The 5 love Languages, there are five ways to speak and understand emotional love, but many couples don't know about love languages and are often surprised when they learn about them.

  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Quality Time
  3. Receiving Gifts
  4. Acts of Service
  5. Physical Touch

Keeping the love tank full is important in any relationship. As human we know it is an emotional need, and we have all different ways of showing our love. The emotional needs as children follow us to adulthood, and never goes away.

  • Words of Affirmation: Verbal compliments or words of appreciation is this persons communication of love. Expressing affection through spoken affection, praise, or appreciation. Hearing the words "I love you," are important, but hearing the reasons behind it is even more heart felt. 
  • Quality Time: Quality time is giving someone your undivided attention. I don't mean sitting on the couch watching TV... I mean sitting on the couch with the TV off, looking at each other and talking, and giving each other your undivided attention. Quality time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities. You should feel cherished by your partners love language. They would do anything to just exist near you. Not spending time with your partner can kill your relationship as well as, not listening to their needs. Everyone goes through periods where life gets busy, but without this every day maintenance, there is no sustenance for your partner to survive on.
  • Receiving gifts: This means the person thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language  the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for. A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say "look he was thinking of me." It doesn't matter if it costs money. What is important is that you thought of him or her.
  • Acts of Service: Acts of service is doing something for your spouse that you know they would like for you to do.. it could be cooking a meal, washing dishes, taking out the garbage, mowing the lawn, changing the babies diaper, or doing something for them by relieving pressure off of them when needed. The person who's love language is acts of service would like to hear "let me do that for you", or "I can take care of that".
  • Physical Touch: Holding hands, kissing, embracing, back rubs, or an arm around the shoulder are all ways of expressing love by physical touch. Physical touch can make or break a marital relationship because nothing communicates love like physical touch. For example: Kiss when you get in the car, or give a hug before you go shopping. 

It's important to master your loved ones love language.

 

Quality time and words of affirmation was my significant others love languages, and mine was physical touch and words of affirmation. Figure out yours by taking this quiz! 

https://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

It may take many conversations to fully understand each other's love languages, and it will take practice and patience to put those expressions of love into action, nut the end result of feeling loved and secure in your relationship is worth the effort. 

 

Sources
Gottman
5 Love languages